Hopes and Fears of...

First.

I figured out where Porter gets it. He gets it from his mom. Tiffany is the great fooler. People come to visit and she sounds and acts as though she is doing great. And she is, but she is in more pain than she lets on. Don't let that stop you from coming over if you were thinking of it, just don't let her get away with telling you that she is OK when she continues to feel the pain.

She woke up this morning feeling a little queasy. She ended up taking a long nap this morning which took care of most of that. As far as the physical pain goes, she is fighting it and she wins most battles, though loses a few here and there. So goes the healing process.

Second.

Hope and fear are mutually exclusive. You can not have both at the same time. We have benefited from hope of late. Tiffany and I read last night in the Old Testament concerning Nebuchadnezzar and his dream. Nebuchadnezzar searched the wise men of the day for an answer to his dream. None could do it. Daniel, however, came forward, and requested the answer from the Lord - and received it. We discussed for some time and off to bed we went. I found out in the morning, that Tiffany, bless her heart, had stayed up to read a blog that concerned somebody else who is struggling with cancer. To her dismay, the blog left her with some despair as she contemplates her own situation. She quickly admitted a belated understanding of the scripture we read the night before. She searched for peace in the wrong place. She decided that to continue to have the peace that she needs, she needs to focus on the One that can give her that peace. It is amazing how hope vanishes quickly when we turn to the worlds views on situations. Prognosis and statistics don't help with peace. If somebody were to tell me I have a 90% chance or a 10% chance, I still don't know where I personally stand. Generally, statistics are a voice of fear. Which is why I liked it when the doctor didn't give us statistics. She simply said, 'we are here to beat this'. And that is our plan.

Third

Tiffany made an appointment to meet with Dr. Glen tomorrow concerning the results from the biopsies of the liver and spleen. I feel some apprehension. I am hoping that we go in tomorrow and the Dr. says that it ‘is all cleared up. Nothing was found!’. And I hope that for many reasons. There have been many prayers offered on our behalf. Some pray that she will be healed. Some pray to give her comfort. Some pray to give her peace. I hope that all those prayers will be answered. But if the first one does not happen tomorrow, we hope the other two are.

Fourth

A word about Mother-in-laws.

Adam was the luckiest man alive. He did not have a Mother-in-law.
~Mark Twain

Mark Twain did not live long enough to know my mother-in-law. Since day one I have had a great relationship with my wifes mother. After stealing her daughter away from her, it would normally have taken years of good works on my part to make up for that which I took away. Luckily for me Tiffany and I gave her four darling grand children which love her dearly, causing her to forgive me of my offenses against her. So much so, that she has so graciously quit her work, left her responsibilities for some time, and came down to stay with us, leaving her husband to battle the cats at home, and help us through this difficult time. I will ever be greatful for the love and service she has offered us. Few people would make the sacrifice she has made. Thank you, Diann, for your help. We appreciate every minute...

... But just remember you will make life difficult for us when you leave. To de-grandmafy the kids is a three day experience for every week they are with you. They expect us to give them the same time and attention and love that you show them and we find that we have not yet perfected that which only grandmothers can give. We have a lot more time and experience to go through to get that good. However, we will gladly take the de-grandmafying experience in exchange of your time and love.

Nathan