Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A child here, a child there, a child everywhere - or not.

I was about 10. My dad was working on taxes in the dining room. I asked him if he was a millionaire. His reply, “Maybe if I didn’t have you and your brothers and sisters.”

A joke of dry humor and jest. Knowing my dad he meant none of it. At least I think he wanted us and not the million dollars. I think.

Yahoo is my home page of choice. Though with today’s advanced browsers, I actually have three home pages. But Yahoo is the one that pops up first and gives me, generally, the national news of the day. Anything that is looming out in the world will likely fall on the front page. They like to throw in a few different types of stories here or there; sports, politics, humanities, and the like. How they pick these, I am unsure, but I find myself cycling through them here and there throughout the day.

Yesterday I read an article they posted online suggesting that today there are more and more childless marriages. This is not new. And not really news. It was written with a distinct, very pro-childless marriage view and had little to no thought of why people might want children today, claiming only a few examples of why people wanted them in the past.

The story named off reasons for not having children; ‘the cost to raise them, less guilt and worry, less responsibility, more sleep, more free time, more disposable income, no awkward discussions of teen moms, no forced relationships with people just because your kids like their kids, no chauffeuring other peoples kids in your minivan to soccer games you find less appealing than televised chess.’ Just to name a few. And for the most part, true.

However, as much as I cherish the agency we all get in choosing our lives, I have to admit, I felt sorry for these individuals. Yes, life with children is no doubt more difficult, more expensive, and at times you wonder why you had children at all. But when you think that, it is generally out of a moment of frustration, a frustration that came because of the love you have for the child, and not really a desire to not really have them.

Because as much joy as I get being married to Tiffany – and that is great joy, my heart also surges on the relationship and hope I have with my children.

And that is worth more than any money, time, or whatever I would get without them in my life.

Do we not learn more about godhood than by being a parent?

A thought worth considering.



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