Thursday, May 29, 2014

Those Little 'Aha' Moments - The ones where you learn a little more about life

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."
~William Shakespeare

A mother, probably in more ways than a father, has a tender heart for her children.  Not that dad doesn't, but I think it is just different.*  Late last night as Tiffany and I were talking, she burst out into some tears.  I can't say its unusual nor is it a common occurrence, rather, under the circumstances, it comes as often as it should.  And while the contents of the discussion will remain close to me and her, I will divulge but only a part of it, because I think it shows a grand gesture to parents, and more specifically, moms.

You see, as she is going through this process, she has those moments that do come, where she wonders what is it that she is going through, why she might be doing so, how long it will last, and in her case, what she might be able to learn from it.  However, as is often the case, these questions are not easily answered.  No doubt she gets on her knees to ask for answers.  And no doubt she gets answers.  But here in mortality, we sometimes either don't like the answer we get or we just get enough to move onward, which, in our mortal imperfect state, can sometimes be frustrating.

With the recent issues we have been dealing with lately, Tiffany's normally positive state of mind has taken a beating.  The pain and suffering she has had to go through, both the acute and seemingly long term (for example, the throat pain is recent, and should go away soon, though some of the neuropathy in her hands and feet, may stay for quite some time), creates a constant barrage against her big smile and happy disposition.  Though she does amazingly well, especially from my viewpoint where I get to see first hand what she has to go through, a beating takes place still the same.

So last night, in one of our long talks that we enjoy, she shared with me a little bigger window into the pain and agony she has recently been going through.  But no, that isn't where the tears came, not this time.  She shared with me the thought running across her mind and it was this...

That she was so grateful that her kids did not have to go through the trial that she was, for she would not be able to bear it, not even for a moment.

But, herein again, tears did not come.  It was the thought that followed that required a box of Kleenex...

It was this... That although she did not have to watch her own child go through this... Her own mother does.

Tiffany being a mother herself, came to realize what her mother was going through, or perhaps maybe just a glimpse.  But it was her sorrow for what her mom must be going through made the tears freely flow.  Tiffany shared with me a little gem, as she often does.  It helped me understand why her mom sacrifices her time from her home, her husband, her life, to come and stay with us time and time again, likely feeling powerless in the situation, but doing whatever she can to try to make it better. 

Maybe just like any mother would.



* (Please do not run rampant suggesting that I think moms are better caregivers than dads or whatever.  I am just saying that I think moms have a more tender heart for their children - feel free to discuss in the comments below).


  1. So poignant. I'm constantly moved by Tiffany's example. Instead of focusing on her own suffering, her thoughts are on others. She is an inspiration to so many.

  2. Beautiful! Beautiful Woman who has a beautiful mother. I've watched a child go through cancer and still wait for the next bit of bad news. It's like you are in a bubble away from the world and it's all you think about. You two are so sweet. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm a distant cousin, first cousin to Max Jr. Prayers continue to be with you.