Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.
~C. S. Lewis
We were told of an expected Prednisone drop come Tuesday. And it came.
It actually started off well enough. She was feeling OK, but with some pain in her throat and other issues, the day seemed to quickly spiral downwards.
She did have a liver biopsy consultation with the liver specialist. We were trying to get out of that one as we were sure that he would tell us nothing new from what Dr. Glenn had already told us. But it was Dr. Glenn that suggested we go to the follow up appointment (this we were told through the nurses - note - we think highly of the whole team there, but sometimes we have to realize that we aren't the only ones they are watching - additional eyes on the situation probably isn't necessarily a bad thing).
So back up to Huntsman she went. That was 6 days out of 7 she has been there. Sunday being truly a day of rest.
Ultimately the visit was pointless - which is what we thought - though the liver specialist did suggest the reason for Dr. Glenn holding off on the transfusion was because her iron count is so high. The only way to get the iron count, he suggested, was to blood let (get rid of blood) - which isn't a possibility when you already have low blood counts. So it is a wait and watch approach. What else is new?! Though the quickness of the dropping is a concern to us, we know Dr. Glenn is hoping that the chemo does it's job and allows the good cells to multiply and need less transfusions going forward.
After a mostly pointless consultation Tiff continued to seem to get worse, losing energy throughout the day. She did have a troupe of individuals come and try to lift her spirits. Tiffany's mom, grandmother, sisters and a sister-in-law, took her out to lunch, and then on to wig shopping. The plan all along was to try to do it on the prednisone drop day, hoping that it would be a good day to lift her spirits and see some loved ones. I think it helped, but by the end of the day, she was tired, but grateful for their love and assistance.
I, myself, at this writing, have actually not seen her in the wig, but as soon as I do, I will have to take a picture of it and post it. Tiffany has had a little fear in being a distraction is some places. She is not necessarily trying to hide the fact that she will soon have no hair, but she knows that in some places and some instances, a wig will give her the opportunity to go unnoticed, ha, and not scare so many kids (she is sure that kids will point and would rather not go through that at times).
She made it through the day. The day progressively got worse, but she made it, and a new day is around the corner.
Here is to hoping and praying that what she felt today will be the last for a while and that tomorrow is a better one.